It happens so fast, I forget where the journey ended and the confinement began. I let go at precisely the wrong time. I gave the the my keys to a stranger(s) I thought I knew. I have no idea where they left me.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
True..., we are made of star stuff, but is our helix strong enough?, originally uploaded by gogoloopie.
magical occurrences where nobody else dares to go., originally uploaded by gogoloopie.
I know you are exceptional and you offered your hand. Yet, I must hurry now- I am only an illusion, from a make-believe land; i am unable to even make foot.prints in your infinite sand. (I am sick in my soul, knowing you can't understand).
Sunday, June 26, 2011
I am only molecular storage for now. I wade through the gene pool and slide across the sequences, but how can I find a missing piece that is forever casting her gaze at an event horizon that already swallowed up all of the important parts?
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I never heard the door shut on your way out.
I thought you were in that loathsome room I do not dare approach (there are the ancient whispers of horrors unthinkable in there).
I would delicately navigate as to ensure my safe distance, but it never occured to me to ask about that vile room's origen or purpose.
You would stride down that narrow hall and carelessly saunter through the musty wooden door that groaned in recognition every-time you casually brushed by...
...Leaving only y(our) muffled sighs behind for me to look after....
You would look as though you had walked through a gaping wound and were swallowed up by the thick blanket of foreboding and ceaseless whispers that always forced me to turn away and hope I could concentrate on my Mediocre novel in the other room.
That was where you would watch those sad, sad films that I couldn't look at, because they made me cry.
I cried for the lost souls.
I never heard the door shut on your way out.
Now my stifled voice slides into the blackest box, deep underground, so no one can hear my screams.
I am now addicted to hating my own self.
All that I am.
All that I spit on in the name of Pathology.
Subsistence in the name of the almighty Triplicate;
My false god, masquerading as something called, "happiness."
I've heard that name before....
It sounds nice, but cannot remember such a thing presenting itself by the handful.
All this time, I am the fool.
Staring down the throat of the unspeakable truth.
I Deny. Deny. Deny. (.defy.)
I never look into that dark room where the sadness cries out from the reaper's shadows.
I think that all of those those melancholies are the actors in the films I can't bear to look at because they make me cry.
How can I be so stupid?
THEY were ME all along.
You weren't here to watch,
you only stopped by,
to ensure there that I am sufficiently broken in my ignorance.
Where I belong...(!)
My eyes tear open wide, sweat is dripping, skin is ripping, under the pressure of my death grip, sheets stripped, i am drowning in my own blood.
I cannot breath.
(I swear to god, I never even heard you leave!)
anhedonic frenzied terror state, eyes dilate, my lungs asphyxiate, choking in my own imprisoned memories. You werent here to love me. You were my jailer.... rumination,
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Internal Forces of Combustion In Symphonic Harmony With Nature's Clouds of Arsonist Tendencies, originally uploaded by gogoloopie.
Once again, the old Grapevine granary.... I keep trying to make the many photos of this thing as unique as possible!!
Tic-Tac.. Toe? but Why in the cold by the faucet...?, originally uploaded by gogoloopie.
This photograph is still a mystery and it does still keep me up at night, ceaselessly pondering the probabilities of the positioning of the objects, as well as trying to formulate a reasonable hypothesis on what purpose they serve - function? Or did my brother put them there to drive me insane?
(I must conclude with an, "I'm joking, of coarse," statement, due to people possibly believing that crap I just wrote...) :)
quirky mood today.
I'll start an X-Files album.., I have enough oddities in my stream to pull it off! This one wasn't that odd- just really cool...!
Friday, June 10, 2011
.voice(s).of.the.voice-less (only softly): for the ones who went black and couldn't find their way back because their mind are dark traps and they insist they deserve the pain and all that (can't.be.with-out). A dedication to these souls because i could
One of those awkward photos that nobody wants to see because we ask, "how are you," and expect to hear, "I'm fine."
Sometimes we have to show ourselves that, no matter how jaded we may be, we are still subject to pain and we are vulnerable creatures...,
Dad's bone scan came back (stage IV cancer). Despite our dysfunction, I am very close to my family and I am not willing to accept his death in the near future. This was at the beginning. Now I prefer the hazy state of denial. I am not prescribed fentanyl like my dad, but my head has a way of bring able to mask this pain.
U N R E A L I T Y.